


A Cold And Broken Hallelujah

by Alice (spideychelle_romanogers)



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man - All Media Types, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
Genre: Affairs, Angst, Cheating, F/M, Fate, High Angst, One Night Stands, Soulmates, break ups, college troubles, high school bliss
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-27
Updated: 2017-10-05
Packaged: 2019-01-05 23:26:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 11,249
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12199530
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spideychelle_romanogers/pseuds/Alice
Summary: At the start, Peter and Michelle would spend entire nights on the phone with each other unable to confess their feelings. They'd spend every waking moment together or chatting as they danced around their feelings to keep the friendship going.A few years later, juggling Harvard and worrying about Peter, Michelle's life was deteriorating. Peter left her when he realized being a superhero's girlfriend became too much for her. As they both tried to grow apart, they could never let go, running into each other's arms at every opportunity.Today, it’s been 15 years since they broke up. Though Michelle has everything to lose, the two of them are still hopelessly in love. Peter’s at the end of a messy divorce after his wife found out about his alter ego, but Michelle’s exactly where she needs to be with a career and family. When Ned hosts a reunion trip, they both seek very different kinds of closure with each other, hashing out their recent “mistakes” as they try to find out where in their past they went wrong.While Peter has nothing left to lose, Michelle's life is ready to crumble if anyone discovers the secret she's hiding from everyone, even Peter.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> **Important note:** Homecoming canonically takes place in 2020. This story is a mystery written backwards across three timelines. It's easy to follow, but only if you read the scene headers. The headers with the year and their ages matter SO MUCH to keeping up with this.

> **Present - 2037 - 32 years old  
>  **

The world changed and Peter wasn't entirely sure he ever changed with it.

While everyone fought to work with new circumstances, he found himself constantly fumbling with basic issues. As others grew magnanimous, he grew selfish. The realization came out of the blue, but still it was always so obvious from the start: this job was sucking his soul out of him.

Peter never understood the expression before, not in this regard. Maybe some people had monotonous, tiresome, or maybe even corrupting work but he couldn't ever imagine a job changing a person. Not really. Spider-Man used to be an extension of himself, not a chore. Peter missed the days where the mask never cost him anything.

He was pacing again. The habit started up a few weeks ago and fight it as he could, the small studio's walls were so tight he just needed to remember he could move. It was a way to keep his thoughts in line, stop them from spinning. It was his last chance to decide whether to stay or go. The responsible part of him wanted to stay, the rational part knew he'd drive himself crazy if he stayed here any longer.

He was practically punishing himself these days. Even when it came to picking this studio, Peter had every opportunity to get a nicer place, but he couldn't stop treating the situation as temporary. The second it settled in for him that this was permanent, he worried he wouldn't really bounce back from that.

Going to Ned's would give him a much-needed break, but at what cost? Peter spent so much time pondering over how to get the spirit of the boy he once was back. He couldn't handle a constant reminder of his past.

This reunion would break him.

The static noise that followed silence only got stronger at the idea of avoiding an opportunity to get away. More than his sanity, he needed air. He needed to get away from the city.

Just the thought of going to see his friends again made Peter want to clean up his act. Carrying around the trash can, Peter swept the scattered garbage off his counter. He walked around collecting the empty bottles lying everywhere.

It'd been awhile since his last drink. He'd learned he couldn't be trusted. There was a time when he found a way to dull every second of every day. He was only sure to settle in reality when he was behind the mask. Or maybe the mask was a way to dull it all too.

He stopped just in time to sign the papers. Gwen was insistent on getting the arrangement over with. She wanted to move out of the house as soon as she could. She offered Peter the place if he wanted it but he couldn't imagine living in a giant home alone.

Just like he couldn't imagine staying in this shoe box alone.

Peter just wasn't built for loss. Though the world did its best to convince him to try and get used to it, some hopeful part of him still tried to find permanence. He supposed this would be the final blow. Except that's what he thought when Tony died.

Ned was probably the most stable person in his life right now. Peter ignored his advances in trying to support him but he finally caved just in time to get invited to this reunion. He wasn't ready to see everyone again, but he didn't have it in his heart to refuse Ned again. All he wanted was to see his best friend. No one else mattered.

At least, he wanted to pretend there was no one else he was dying to see.

Ned made an invitation to their old friend that Peter hoped desperately would get rejected. He was too weak to be smart about this. He was weaker than he was every other time he'd seen her. He'd be putty in her hands in seconds, like always. He didn't pretend things could be any different this time when they always ended the same way.

Stumbling across his suit, Peter debated whether it was worth packing. Did he need a backup or did he need a break more? Spider-Man couldn’t keep coming first.

* * *

**Past - Winter 2023 - 19 years old**

"So that's it then," Peter announced finally, swallowing, his breath still shaky. For almost an hour now, they stood there, far enough from each other that they might as well have been in separate rooms.

"That's it," Michelle answered, sniffling quietly and crossing her arms. The silence between them lasted so long, Peter just started spilling the thoughts in his mind.

"I'll always love you, Mi-"

She scoffed and looked away. Peter could see her shaking but he knew better than to reach out for her again. She’d already barked at him to get away from her. "Stop saying that, you can't say that." She stubbornly wiped at her eyes again. She acted as though Peter was a total stranger, someone who would never get to see her cry.

Peter winced. "I'm sorry." She sighed, staring down at her shoes. She tried to think of something positive about this and could only think back to the pile of work that would be waiting for her now that she'd have the time to get to it. At what cost?

"I don't understand how this is supposed to fix anything," she mumbled doubtfully. She knew the truth of the matter was it was for the best, but Michelle preferred fluctuating between happy and miserable than just giving up. She couldn’t understand how Peter would just walk away from her like this but this wasn’t mutual in the least. He was leaving her.

And he wasn’t taking no for an answer, however many ways she tried.

"Do you really think we could've kept going like this?" Michelle looked like she was about to argue and Peter's expression softened. "When's the last time you slept?"

"That's just college, Peter." She hated his excuses.

"Don't lie."

"I don't care."

"This was your idea."

"Stop blaming me!” she snapped, trying to get a grip on herself again as she resisted yells. His floormates probably already knew they were fighting. “I was wrong. I shouldn't have said anything."

Peter licked his lips. It took everything to stop himself from trying to hold her. He already hugged her when she'd started crying and it nearly cost him his resolve. He had to think about what was best for her. "You were right about all of it."

"It was just a fight. We didn't mean any of it."

"I think it's the most honest we've been in years," he said cautiously. He looked away, doing his best to keep their distance. She looked as miserable as he felt.

Seeing her look off, Peter couldn't remember the last time she really looked him in the eyes. Weeks ago, maybe. Their days consisted of being in the same room but barely speaking. They never recovered from the argument. Peter wasn't sure they ever could. Not with the truth out there.

It just wasn't meant to be.

Michelle gasped sharply and Peter recognized the noise. He couldn't resist going to her if she was going to cry again, but before he could move she was already hurrying to the door.

"Michelle?" She didn't stop.

"I can't look at you right now," she hiccuped.

"Michelle!" he called out as he walked behind her. She kept her pace, creating distance between them. She never even said goodbye, she just left.

Peter never got to say goodbye.

* * *

**Present - 2037 - 32 years old**

Michelle worked as quickly as she could to stuff chocolates into each goodie bag without eating them. Truth be told after every meeting she had this morning, she deserved sugar. And a message. A nice lengthy massage. Oh, she couldn’t stop thinking about that now.

As she stuffed each bag, she dreamed of being handed a piña colada, sunbathing on a beach somewhere, being fanned with some giant decorative leaf. At least that's how she figured vacations worked. She wouldn't know, she'd never been on one.

"Can't you let the maid do that?" Harry called out to her from the living room. Michelle laughed.

"I haven't lifted a finger for this party and I intend to look involved."

"No one plans their kids' birthday party, Michelle. Just let the planner handle it."

"No. I can handle this."

Removing his suit jacket, Harry joined her at the kitchen table. He brushed a strand of her hair away from her face before joining her, counting chocolates and stuffing them into bags.

"Can we go on vacation sometime?" Michelle asked suddenly.

"Ha! With what time?"

"We'll play sick. Take Mary with us." Maybe she was being ridiculous, but she was desperate. She needed any excuse to reject her invitation.

"Aren't you supposed to be on vacation right now? Where are your bags?"

"I told them I'd be a day late. I just couldn't miss a birthday."

"There will be other parties. This might be your last chance at a trip for a really long time."

Michelle was weeks away from an announcement regarding her new campaign. As excited as she wanted to be, it felt to her like she was only one step away from failure. Sure she worked her whole life to even get to this place, but there was something about it that just felt too perfect. As if she was begging for the imperfections to get thrown at her all at once.

"You need a vacation. You said it yourself," he argued.

"This isn't vacation, Harry. This is babysitting. You haven't met these guys. I give it five hours before I need to nurse them through their blackouts."

"Fine. But you'll leave right after the party?"

Sighing out, Michelle wondered if there was an appropriate time to cancel. If she faked sick after the party, she wouldn't have to go. Still, Harry would see right through her act. She lived her life keeping him from suspecting anything, she didn't intend to change that agenda. As Harry disappeared into the hall to find them more bags, a familiar cry tore away Michelle’s attention.

"HOW DO I LOOK?" Michelle heard a tiny costumed Mary scream down the hallway. She came out in a pleather black suit, a stuffed belt wrapped across her waist down to her hip.

Michelle faked a gasp. "Natasha?! Is that you?" She scooped Mary up into her arms before the girl could pass her.

"I'm going to be a superhero, mommy."

"I never thought I'd say this to my own daughter but couldn't you have picked a princess instead?"

Right on cue, Harry's laughter boomed down the same hallway. "Don't listen to her." He pulled Mary up out of Michelle's arms. "She's just grumpy because superheroes are bad for business."

"They are disruptive and loud." Michelle pouted.

"So are your coworkers." He kissed her temple. "Let the girl live."

"Why do you hate superheroes?" Mary piped up. She asked the same question every time.

"I don't hate superheroes. They are very nice."

"Did you know your mother is best friends with Spider-Man?"

Oh god.

"Yeah right!" Mary said, clearly feeling tricked.

"We don't need to keep telling this story," Michelle tried.

"He swooped in and saved her a few years ago. There was this mean old man destroying Midtown, but as always, the Avengers swooped in and stopped him!" Mary looked shocked. "He stopped a bus with his bare hands!"

"Mommy!" Mary accused, angry she'd never heard this story before.

"It was nothing," Michelle assured her, running a hand over the loose frizzy bangs of her daughter's hair.

"Then he shook her hand when she was sworn in!" Harry piped up animatedly.

"Are we going to talk about a handshake now?" she quipped. Both Mary and Harry made a face.

"Mary's right, you do hate superheroes." He laughed. "How about that time you met Thor though? I’m still salty.” Thor was Harry's favorite hero. If Michelle didn't know any better, she'd say he was to blame for Mary's obsession. Everything in her life had to involve superheroes, not that Harry was any better.

Sure he was a grown-up, but his keychains, collectible bobbleheads and hidden poster in his office said differently.

Similarly, Mary held her breath until Michelle agreed to let her throw an Avengers birthday party.

Harry planned most of it, even if he'd pretend that the party planner made it all up. Just like her father, Mary loved superheroes. Like a doting dad, Harry intended to deliver.

* * *

**Present - 2037 - 32 years old**

Peter put down the suit. He'd accept whatever happened on this trip but he'd never live with himself for bringing his crutch.

Besides, he knew if he was to have any chance of resisting her he couldn't bring their instigator. It always started with a fight. When it came to her, that suit brought nothing but trouble.

Leaving it on the counter, he went on tossing trash until his room looked recognizable again. Texting Ned that he was on his way, Peter packed for a little longer than the trip in case Ned let him stay a little longer like he offered.

If he survived this outing, he'd still need some help getting his mind off things. Leaving the suit in New York would certainly be a start. Peter just needed to remember what it was like feeling like himself rather than the hero's alter ego.

Stuffing his comb and razor into the duffle bag, Peter stopped briefly in front of the mirror to look at himself. On the outside, he looked fine. Maybe he was a bit thinner than usual but the dark circles were gone now that he was sleeping better. He'd gotten some color back now that he'd stopped drinking. Running a hand through his hair, he debated whether a haircut was worth the time until he reminded himself it wasn't Ned's opinion he was concerned about.

Heading out of his apartment, he checked for his keys, his passport. Dropping the doufflebag on the counter on his way out, he made his latest mistake.

He stuffed the suit into the bag and locked the door behind him on his way out.

* * *

**Present - 2037 - 32 years old**

Michelle discovered hell.

Hell was watching ten-year-olds scatter about her house in their little costumes eating Cheetos on her clean couch.

Hell was how many of these kids came as Spider-Man.

Hell was her daughter's crush being one of these kids.

Wanting to do anything but talk to the other moms at the party, Michelle settled for watching her daughter and her daughter's best friend Thomas play together.

Maybe Mary didn't understand that it was a crush but Michelle had the experience to see the truth. Thomas was a sweet boy. There was nothing wrong with him. Watching them interact though, well-

Michelle couldn't tell if she was stuffing her mouth with chips to keep from laughing or wailing.

"I'll be trapped in some scary cave and have to find my way out. Then I'll-" Mary loved building these imaginary traps for herself. Michelle figured that was the one thing she inherited from her mother.

"I'll come save you because I'm a superhero!" Thomas proposed.

"But I'm a superhero too."

"But you're a girl."

"WERE YOU BORN STUPID?" Mary announced loudly. It was extremely inappropriate to laugh, especially with all the moms staring in their direction, so Michelle just stuffed her face and hugged the chip bowl close to her chest.

Thomas scoffed indignantly. "You're stupid."

"Well, you're a bad superhero. You can't call another hero stupid. That's mean."

"You're always mean!"

"You make it easy!"

Michelle really wished she could say past conversations were more complex than this but she felt like Mary and Thomas were reenacting a short synopsis of her own life.

* * *

**Past - 2021 - 16 years old**

“Let me get your number” was never meant to turn into this. Michelle’s fingers were sore from messaging this kid. Every day became about checking for a reply. Michelle had things to do, classes to study for, studying to focus on. It only took one notification for her to drop everything just to respond. Every message gave her a short ping of satisfaction, just knowing she was stealing so much of his time.

Then came the calls, the late nights quietly on the phone talking until dawn about movies or books or school and spending the next day suffering together. Peter brings them coffee as Michelle provides nothing except her snark to cushion the blow of exhaustion. They fought sleepiness all day, just to call again that night.

Cindy had long ago become their cupid, insistent that Michelle tell Peter the truth. After long since finding out becoming very sick of their ridiculous exchanges, Cindy was convinced she had to get them together. Michelle had the suspicion Cindy just wanted to be friends and this was her way of getting close to her. Still, Cindy made excuses about just wanting Michelle to be less grumpy.

Which often in turn just made Michelle more grumpy. Still, Cindy insisted, often taking to the hallways to follow Michelle around and try to convince her.

“Peter Parker is not just going to wake up one day and realize you’re in love with him,” Cindy noted, her tone holier-than-thou.

“Can you keep your voice down?!” she whisper-yelled, walking backwards to make a violent shushing gesture at her. As she turned around, she saw him there, standing by her locker. Michelle held back her smile as he was lost for words as she approached.

“Jones,” he greeted her. Ever since she started refusing to use his first name in greetings, he followed suit. He seemed to do it more to get a reaction from her. She’d never known she’d enjoy getting teased like this. Michelle would never know what to call the stir in her heart when she saw him. On the one hand, she felt settled. On the other hand, she felt like she’d never be able to sit still again.

A buzz, maybe. A happy buzz.

“Parker.” She acted disinterested as she took her books out of the locker.

“You broke our streak last night,” he said, very matter-of-fact.

“Our streak?”

“On Snapchat,” he reminded her, his smile becoming hesitant.

“Oh,” she flipped a strand of hair off her shoulder with a flick of her neck. “I do have a life.” He actually pouted. Seeing that, she did her best not to laugh in his face. He cared so much about their messages it nearly drove Michelle to confessions. “I’m just kidding. My dad had me go out to dinner and a movie.” The smile returned so quickly Michelle wished she could take it as a sign.

She needed Peter to like her back. She needed it more than air. It was so overwhelming she couldn’t fathom handling bad news. She would rather never know than risk anything. “Will you be free tonight?” he asked, barely able to meet her eyes for too long without grinning like an idiot.

Peter was pretty sure Michelle could see into his soul whenever their eyes met and that was almost as intimidating as it was absorbing. If he could get away with staring without her calling him out on it, he’d try again. He couldn’t remember the last time she didn’t catch him daydreaming. All of her theories about how or why he was so distracted were wrong. She never guessed they were about her, and Peter much preferred it that way. As it was, he got to spend nearly every minute of everyday talking to her, whether in person, on the phone, texting or sending stupid photos.

His day didn’t really work without her the way it used to. He wasn’t sure he ever wanted that to change.

“For you? Maybe,” she teased, shutting the locker door just loudly enough to make Peter jump as she walked away without another word.

* * *

 

**Present - 2037 - 32 years old**

Michelle was a lucky woman.

Sending the maid home early, she started picking up the streamers around the house. It wasn't that Michelle felt like she had to clean, she just loved the sense of bringing order to the house somehow when she normally didn't get the chance. Besides she needed time to think.

Harry and Mary were passed out in the living room. It was actually a bit cute. They were only asleep five minutes now but the peace was welcome. How Harry found any strength to handle Mary when she was always so energetic, Michelle would always envy it. Whenever Michelle came home she felt like she only ever had time to kiss Mary goodnight.

While she never wanted to be, Michelle had become a firm believer in fate over the years. There were some things that were just destined to be.

Her daughter was one of them. Mary was perfect, that had to be settled by fate. Michelle never really thought about having children, but she couldn't imagine a life without Mary. She could accomplish anything she planned on but Mary's happiness would always matter more.

"Need help?" She startled. Harry had woken up somehow and joined her in the kitchen. "You should be letting the maid clean."

"I like to do it myself."

"We hired her so you could take a break."

"I'm not really built for breaks, Harry," she reminded him. He started picking up streamers anyway. As kind as the gesture was, he was disrupting her thought process.

Michelle's family had to be fate. Harry was a perfect father. He was involved, successful, caring. Not just that, he was a perfect husband to her.  Perhaps because he was so unsuspecting.

Harry wasn't always perfect. Their relationship had its problems once upon a time. Though he'd never know it, Michelle was always the real source of their strain.   
  
Acting as a father, though, through him, Michelle found the family she always thought she needed going forward. He built bridges over every gap between her and Mary. Mary was so much like him Michelle always worried they'd never connect.

Somehow, this made Harry the very source of her anguish. If she stopped lying to herself, she'd remember he wasn't to blame for her choices. Regardless, if he never got involved, he wouldn't be a source of stress for her now. She couldn't regret Mary, but she could regret the choices she made leading up to her marriage with Harry.

There was something inherently wrong with her woes over her perfect family. She rooted it all back to fate.

After all, it was fate that she ever met Peter Parker. Michelle was not a superstitious woman but she’d learned over the years there was nothing normal about her connection to him. Everything about their relationship was rooted in destiny. There was nothing about their connection that could be pure coincidence. They coexisted in this world to remind each other of their humanity.

And Peter Parker truly existed to remind Michelle she would never be happy, because he made her realize perfection would never be enough for her.

* * *

**Present - 2037 - 32 years old**

Michelle wasn't the whole reason Peter was going on this trip, but his mind sure seemed to think it was. His thoughts flashed back to the highlights of their last meeting, against his will. As he pulled up to the airport, he found himself thinking about it as he passed the security check.

Ironically, Peter was pretty sure even if he showed up in the Spider-Man suit, he'd still have to remove his shoes and drop his bag like everyone else. An airport was a humbling place. Everyone’s experience was the same.

As they made a last call to remove jewelry, Peter reached at his finger only to recall the ring was missing. He didn't want to be pulled out of his memories, but there was a stark realization it'd be the first time he'd see Michelle without his ring on.

If there was one thing he'd never blame her for resenting him over, it was how they left things these last years. He set them on a path she'd never forgive him for. Peter made her the other woman.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to aqhrodites here on AO3 and tumblr for beta-ing :O she also owns my soul, my firstborn and my heart

**Present - 2037 - 32 years old**

Peter settled into his seat, remembering what the comfort of first class was like that time he went to Germany. He hadn’t ridden a plane since, so he didn’t remember what to expect.

The drowsiness was the worst part of the whole ride, and he spent the first hours doing his best not to kick the chair in front of him. There was dignity in riding coach, he reminded himself, knowing he was spoiled by the privilege of his own importance in New York.

The problem was that the flight left him suspended in half-dreams. If his mind wasn't drifting to the divorce, then it would drift to _her_ .

He wasn't ready to think about her yet.

If he hadn't told Ned he was coming to this get-together, Peter would be turning back as soon as his plane landed. Having to wait out this flight made him feel claustrophobic, trapped.

As he did his best to settle in his chair again, he closed his eyes, hoping to sleep and stop thinking.

But Peter's stress made its way into his dreams, play by play memories of past events.

Small gatherings like Ned’s spelled trouble for them every time. Nothing was enough to keep them apart, not history, not time, not betrayal, not even his wife.

Without any of those, how were they meant to stay apart? A bitter part of him remembered the family she so prioritized, reminding him that even they, her husband and daughter, weren't enough to stop her in the past so they wouldn't stop her now.

There was no escaping it, Peter was walking himself into heartbreak yet again and there was nothing he could do about it.

* * *

**Past - 2025 - 20 years old**

As people bustled past her, taking their flags from her as she greeted each of them, Michelle's heart rushed every time someone stopped to speak with her.  Michelle loved volunteering. It was her chance to get out of the bubble of university politics and remember there was a whole world out there.

The race to become president of the Harvard College Democrats Association was getting heated. It was perhaps overly ambitious for her to be fighting for this as a junior, but she needed to be legendary to be noticed. Campaigning became her everything, though she hated the concept of selling herself for a marketing tactic.

It was nice to turn around and get to help another cause. It was especially nice to get off campus. She had missed New York so much. The intensely quiet stress of her school’s environment was nothing like the racing, exciting tension of her home.

As Michelle pointed a thumbs up at a passing protester with a funny sign, she was tapped on the shoulder. There was a small blonde waiting behind her, gesturing at her hands.

"Can I get one of those?" she asked bashfully. "My sign just fell apart."

"Oh no!" Michelle related politely. "What happened?" She handed a flag over.

"The cardboard couldn't hold out against the wind. Damn skyscrapers."

The blonde made a joking heckling gesture towards the sky and Michelle chuckled.

"You know, next time you buy something in a big box, try saving that. It's usually a lot steadier. And try doubling up." The blonde quirked an eyebrow. "Sorry, I protest a lot. Are you here alone?"

"No actually." She gestured behind her only to turn and see no one was there. "Wow. I actually came with my boyfriend but now I don't know where he is. He was right behind me."

Grimacing, Michelle glanced around for her, worried the girl could easily lose someone in a crowd like this. It was too loud for phone calls to be of much use.

The girl started waving to her right and Michelle sighed out in relief. "There he is!"

"Oh good." Michelle smiled, handing a flag to someone else who asked.

"I'm Gwen, by the way."

Michelle put out her free hand. "MJ."

The blonde still had her eyes in the other direction, waving her boyfriend over enthusiastically, so Michelle finally turned. "Peter! Over here!"

Michelle hadn't seen Peter Parker in two years. Bashfully, Peter made his way to the pair and Michelle got the impression that he had been hiding, turning back to Gwen she tried to mask the horror she was feeling with an amused smile.

"Peter! This is MJ," Gwen said, finally turning back to her. "She was just telling me how to make signs. Something about the wrong kind of cardboard, right?"

With his head still down, he tried his best to speak without choking. "Well, you did use a pizza box," he said, rubbing the back of his neck. When he finally looked up, Michelle turned and their eyes met. "Hey Michelle," he breathed out.

"Michelle?" Gwen asked, confused.

"Hey Peter," Michelle greeted, trying to match Gwen's sweet tone from before.

Gwen smiled. "You two know each other?"

"From high school," Michelle amended, wanting to take control before Peter did. She half suspected he might lie and complicate things.

"Yeah, you remember Midtown, Gwen?" Peter asked. He was answered with a thoughtful nod.

"What are you doing here?" Michelle couldn't help asking, the polite tone steady. "I thought you were at MIT."

"Taking a gap year, actually," he said, his tone matching hers. "Moved back to New York for a little while....Took an internship at Stark Industries." Now she understood — The Avengers needed him. "And you? What happened to Harvard?"

"Harvard's still happening. Some friends and I came down for the protest." She gestured behind her to other volunteers, too distracted to save her.

"Harvard? That's so nice," Gwen piped up sweetly. Michelle was afraid to return questions, knowing it would make her sound like she was gathering information. All she wanted was for the conversation to end but she knew thanking her wouldn't be enough.

"Yes, I'm very happy," she said awkwardly.

Gwen seemed like the kind of person to try to rescue conversations. Unfortunately, this wasn't the kind of talk to try and save. "I applied, actually. It's so hard to get in. You must be a genius."

The girl sounded very sincere even if her words were awkward. Michelle couldn’t tell if that ill feeling in her stomach was actually the girl’s fault or just the situation. "Where did you end up choosing?"

"Columbia. It's not Harvard, of course, but at least it's in the city."

"Yeah," Peter piped in. Gwen turned to him, apparently expecting him to speak. "That's how we met."

Michelle nodded, her fake smile bruising her heart. "That's amazing."

"It's only been a few months," Peter continued, as if trying to answer for something he'd done wrong.

"Cool," Michelle finished awkwardly.

" _Michelle_ ?" she heard someone from inside the tent call out. "We ran out of flags." Saved by the bell.

"I should go," she said bashfully. "It was so nice meeting you, Gwen."

"You too! Peter talks about his old friends all the time, it was nice to meet you."

"I'm sure." She looked at Peter nervously. "I'll see you around, Peter."

"Yeah!" he said, sounding unsure as he averted his eyes. He finally looked to her and smiled.

"I'll see you."

For the rest of the day, Michelle wondered if it was possible to forget how to breathe properly. Google said no, but she wasn't very sure as the train home left her to her thoughts too long.

* * *

**Past - 2021 - 16 years old**

Strutting into school, Peter was on a high like no other. Spider-Man _saved_ New York.

Well, the Avengers saved New York, but Spider-Man was _there_ when they saved New York _together_ .

The school held another themed week dedicated to thanking superheroes, Spider-Man in particular. Every time he turned a corner, Peter was reminded that the school was honoring him whether through a poster, a whisper overheard, or an update from Betty Brant on the school television screens.

Peter had been in school all of fifteen minutes and heard students say his name maybe four times. There were blown up photos of Spider-Man over every other hallway crossing, posters promoting a Spider-Man dedicated ceremony at town hall, the occasional fan wearing a t-shirt in his honor.

His ego had literally never been so blown up as it was now. Peter didn’t see the dangers in having so much confidence surge into him at once. He wandered the halls grinning, knowing Flash and his goons were effectively distracted with their own fanboying over his masked alter ego. There was nothing more pleasing than seeing Flash accidentally praise him.

Strolling past Ned to get to his locker, his best friend did nothing to lessen the effects. "You look different."

"I feel different," Peter chimed back happily. He got a text and pulled out his phone. It was Michelle.

_I can’t go to tutor you tomorrow._

Before Peter could so much as pout, Michelle continued.

_Going to town hall._

Michelle — Michelle Jones — was going to go see Spider-Man. Did Michelle even like superheroes?

Sure, Peter was curious. That didn't mean he'd let that thought float around long enough. Smiling to himself, he turned away just as Michelle passed behind him.

”You're smarter than this,” Cindy piped up her warning.

Michelle rolled her eyes. ”Peter and I are barely friends.”

”You've spent every minute of every day together for what, ten days now?”

”Well, SATs are coming up. Peter's terrible at essays. It's not my fault.”

”Right,” Cindy answered doubtfully, looking both ways in the hallway.

Michelle always marveled at how Cindy really seemed to think that anyone would be listening in on them. Nothing about their gossip could ever be that important. Smiling to herself, Michelle relished at the thought of seeing Peter again later this very day. She cancelled for town hall just to have a reason to talk to him. She would never admit it but she waited happily for an answer.

Ever since Peter approached her about tutoring, their obsession with texting and calling each other curved to an obsession with being close by at every turn. There was hardly a day he didn't sit with her at lunch or walk her home to study together. At this rate, Michelle knew Peter should be much better at the reading and writing questions than the practice tests were showing, but she wasn't going to complain.

She tried not to let herself imagine what it would be like if Peter went to MIT. It was only about five minutes away from Harvard. If they both got in, they'd still see each other. Even if she hoped to be over her crush on this clown by then, at least she'd always have a friend around, someone to tie her back to New York.

Michelle rushed to take out her phone when she felt it vibrate.

_Where are you?_

She laughed and answered.

_My locker, why?_

Cindy had a very judgy look on her face when Michelle looked up.

”Wake up, Michelle,” she said in a matter-of-fact tone. ”Peter Parker is not just going to wake up one day and realize he's in love with you.”

Peter turned the corner and saw Michelle there, putting down her phone to look at Cindy. He should have taken a vibe of the room or even just paid a little attention to their surroundings. Upon seeing her, though, he felt compelled to act. He marched up with the intention of asking her out. It wouldn't be easy, but at least he'd know he tried. There was no better time than today.

He was mere feet away from her when something changed. A switch flipped in his mind and suddenly he was mere inches away from Michelle, never having heard what Cindy said as he leaned in and kissed Michelle on the spot. As soon as their lips touched, it took Peter a few seconds to come to the conclusion that he only had so long before Michelle kicked his ass for this.

Before he could finish the thought and run away, Michelle kissed him back.

As they parted, Peter had his eyes on Michelle as she turned to Cindy, who looked absolutely blown away. ”It actually can't be that easy,” Cindy mumbled, somewhere between annoyed and excited. She put a hand on Michelle's elbow and started dragging her in the other direction. ”We have to go tell everyone!” Giggling, Cindy just led her off as Michelle kept her eyes on Peter, clearly speechless.

Peter honestly didn't even know what to do so he didn't say anything, watching her drift away and smiling to himself. He couldn't stop thinking about how she kissed him back. Even as Ned caught up with him and started asking questions, he still didn't snap out of it. _She kissed him back._

* * *

**Past - 2026 - 21 years old**

Being back in New York was everything to Michelle. As she passed other employees wearing the same giant badges, she shuffled past crowds trying to find her next task.

Summer break usually bought her a lot of free time to read, but she'd be lying if she said she didn't love being a part of a movement like this. The excitement was so blatant for her that she couldn't help practically racing around looking for more.

She felt a hand brush her wrist as she passed, making her turn.

"If you keep running around like that, they're going to think you're desperate."

Michelle smiled as she approached, the familiar face welcome in a place like this. After getting back to the city in past years, Michelle usually felt very alone. This time, she finally had someone to keep her company while school was out.

"I am an intern. They _know_ I'm desperate, Harry."

She still couldn't believe he signed up to volunteer at this event just to keep her company. She had every urge to hug him again, but they were both working. She took one of the badges he was handing out and tried to put it on.

"I've got it," he said, putting the box down to attach it to her blazer. "You look like a proper fanatic now." She rolled her eyes and smiled.

"We're making history."

"The senator is making history. You are helping progress. _I_ am passing out badges." He shook the box at her.

"Badges that are going to symbolize _history_ ."

"I've never seen you bubbly before. It's a scary color on you."

Smiling, Michelle went back on her way to her boss before realizing she was crossing the senator. Sticking around and watching out the window as the woman spoke to her colleagues, Michelle eavesdropped. Their conversation was nothing riveting, not like the senator's environmental policy or her views on income inequality. Here, all they talked about was the food they ate at their last meeting, but Michelle was thrilled to even be breathing in the same room as the woman, so she watched out the giant glass walls and pretended as if she was looking for something as she continued listening in.

The convention hall was so noisy she could barely make out much but she made note that the senator loved turkey, and made a mental note of it in case she'd ever be told to get lunch for the senator. Even the small details helped in the low levels — Michelle would take every advantage she could get.

There was a faint thumping in the wind that was stopping her from hearing much else. As she backed up slightly to get closer to the group, she tried to continue looking casual, now as if she was trying to get a view of something.

There was a shadow in the sky looming over so high she could barely see it through the glass. She tried to write it off as the outline of the ceiling but the shadow moved violently away.

There was something above them.

With the construction of the stage, the crowd ignored more than enough sensations, writing them off as part of the preparations for the party. As Michelle kept her eyes up looking for the figure, she saw a faint flash of red and blue.

It couldn't be.

Just as she pressed her nose to the glass trying to get close and see what was happening, there was a loud thud from above forcing everyone to look up.

Michelle kept her eyes trained on the glass wall, taking advantage of their only field of view.

The thuds started again.

Then again.

Then the thuds stopped altogether.

Just when everyone was breathing again, Michelle knew better than to trust it was over. Not if Spider-Man was involved.

Though she refused to take her eyes off the glass, by the sound of it no one seemed to pick up on an idea of what was happening.

Then she saw a small device hover and float toward the glass. It seemed to be focused on her until it focused behind her. Running backwards as the one device was suddenly joined by many others, she rushed the senator before anyone could even move.

The devices’ first shots shattered the glass.

Their second shots never came as they began a chase in the other direction.

Michelle could hear screams and wondered if Harry was alright. The senator was sheltered beneath her and covering her own head. As the fight went on, two guards ran over and took the senator further into the building as Michelle and some of those who weren't running for cover walked hesitantly towards the glass wall. Some even left out those doors to look for what was wrong.

Michelle became one of them. Running into the street, she watched as the bots circled some members of the Avengers team. They were outnumbered but they each took on several at a time. Spider-Man seemed to be taking on the task of keeping them contained, pulling them back to the center where the heroes fought. Michelle should have been running but she kept her eyes trained on Peter.

She couldn't leave if she didn't see for sure that he made it out of this.

The bots did everything to throw Peter off their track. Whatever they threw at him was avoided. He didn't miss a single beat getting out of the way. As they cheated obstacles to put him in a tight spot, Peter faltered only when they started throwing items towards the crowd of people. Peter dropped priority to quickly help stop the projectiles.

Watching, numb, Michelle felt her blood chill but she couldn't look away. The bots grouped together to pull the largest pieces of glass out of the rubble, only for some of them to get caught in web. As the others flew away, Spider-Man didn't hesitate to handle the ones who lagged behind. Those who got ahead planned something big. Together they flew high, dropping in an arched curve just strong enough that their target, a large bus in the parking lot, flew in the direction of the crowds near the street where Michelle stood dead center alone amongst the scattered onlookers.

Michelle heard Peter scream as he swung in their direction. Before she could understand fully what was happening, she froze as she watched the bus coming in her direction.

Her eyes shut involuntarily, followed by the sound of her breath heavy and the sound of another breath matching her own. Looking finally, she saw Peter in front of her, the bus safely in his grip as he let it slowly tumble to the ground.

He turned to her and she barely even had time to speak before she felt someone else's arms wrapped around her, a familiar voice speaking though she couldn't make out words, as her ears felt like they were filled with cotton.

Just like that, Spider-Man was gone.

Harry muttered words of worry to her without letting go and Michelle just hugged him back, unsure of what to feel. She'd never been in danger like that before. All she could do was will herself to stop shaking.

* * *

 

**Present - 2037 - 32 years old**

Ned's crushing hug was comforting to say the least. Peter was superhuman but he could still feel just how choking the man's hug was. Granted, Peter had to control his strength hugging back. Ned was his very best friend. They stood the test of time through the years, their dynamic never changing. They were brothers, through anything.

Their only difference is that Ned knew when to hang his hat up and give up crime fighting. As a result, he had a wonderful life: a scholarship to MIT, a career in computer tech, family. The only real pity was that he and his wife Betty never had kids. Betty really wanted children, and Peter suspected Ned was disappointed too that they didn't have any. He'd known them both since high school, and if he rooted for anyone it was that pair. He could tell they'd make really great parents. Alas, they never really got the chance yet.

As a result, they were prone to connecting with old friends, hosting events constantly. Peter could tell they weren't unhappy, but at times their hospitality felt a little like they were trying to hide some kind of disappointment. It wasn't that he and Betty weren't close, but it took a special kind of attitude for anyone to just want to take in your husband's deadbeat divorcee friend. She didn't know a thing about Spider-Man. Peter figured she had to see him in a certain light.

Instead, Betty was welcoming him with open arms as he stepped out of baggage claim. "Peter!"

When Ned finally let him go, Peter discovered that her hug was equally as crushing.

"You're actually our last arrival," Ned explained. "For today, anyway."

"For today?"

"Michelle is coming tomorrow. Something about staying for her daughter's birthday." Peter learned how to fake a smile so well even he'd believe it, it was a necessary skill in a time like this. Betty's voice softened. "Peter, I just wanted to say I'm so sorry about Gwen. Was it ugly?"

"No, no," Peter sighed out, not really knowing how to talk about the whole ordeal. He felt like he deserved everything he got and Gwen didn't ask for anything except for him to sign the divorce papers. He wouldn't get over just how willing and ready she was to walk away. It wasn't a surprise to him, but it hurt all the same. He couldn't be surprised she decided to walk away after discovering his identity, but after being married six years he hoped they could have tried to work this out.

He knew he was asking for too much. In fact, Peter was just running out of excuses for himself. He had done plenty of unforgivable things but he still struggled to believe he never meant any harm.

"Was it sudden?"

"Betty," Ned cautioned.

"No, it's fine," Peter lied. The practiced smile on his face held its place. "It was pretty sudden but I think I should have seen it coming. It was on good terms," he lied again.

Ned just frowned.

"How horrible," Betty said with a kind of gasp that made Peter get the impression she had never heard of drama like this.

Ned just shrugged and put an arm around Peter's shoulder. "Everyone made it this time. Flash and Liz flew in. Cindy and Abe are taking an uber to the house from the bus. The others took the train. They're all waiting. It's going to be fun."

Ned sounded more reassuring than excited. Peter did his best to look excited, even if he knew Ned would be able to see right through him.

Maybe it was for the best that Michelle hadn't arrived yet, for the minute he could pretend that he didn't cause his own pain. At least not entirely. As long as she wasn't here, he could hold on to that illusion.

* * *

 

**Past - 2026 - 21 years old**

Peter only meant to ask her if she was alright. That's all.

They hadn't held a worthwhile conversation since that time she spent days crying on her shoulder but he couldn't help himself. Though he'd saved her himself, he couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong.

Turned out it was an excuse to talk to her.

At first, it was pleasant. She was honest in telling him she wasn't sleeping well after the shock and that her friends were all calling in and checking on her.

He didn't push for more then. He was smart not to. She caught him up on the drama at work. Then after saving the senator's life, she secured a job with the campaign. It was basically professional interning, but the title was worth something.

Michelle sounded so excited about it he wasn't sure he was talking to the same girl from high school.

Well, he wouldn't be except he felt the same stirring in his stomach for every text she sent him like he did back then. Every time she texted back, his heart stopped until he pulled out his phone.

Today, his stirring startled Gwen as she picked her head up from his chest. As he checked his phone, he saw a preview of the text.

_Enough about me. What are you up to?_

He wasn't going to answer that he was still in bed with Gwen, so he thought carefully about a different answer. He decided not to open the next texts when he realized Gwen was looking up at him.

"Is that still Michelle?" she asked with a pleasant smile. When she saw that they were texting one day, Peter told her about the bus incident. She didn't have any more questions.

"Um, yeah," Peter said, ignoring his impulse to lie.

"Tell her I said hi."

Peter smiled back. He picked up his phone and typed out a message before pressing send.

"I hope we get to see her again sometime, she was very nice," Gwen mused before reluctantly picking herself up. As she moved away, Peter opened his phone again to follow up his last text.

He read it over again.

_Out shopping with Aunt May._

Pressing his lips together, he started typing more when he got a new text from her. Scrolling down, he felt like such an idiot.

_Harry says hi._

Cursing himself, Peter licked his lips and tried to resist asking her about him. She was perfectly open to discuss him. If he asked a question, she often just answered him truthfully. That's how he learned about Harry in the first place. She didn't dance around terms or act strangely, she simply admitted she had a boyfriend.

How he couldn't do that was a mystery like no other. He couldn't even bring himself to mention Gwen to Michelle unless he didn't have another choice.

His hands failed him.

_Tell him I said hi....When did that happen btw?_

_what, Harry? Last year. Why?_

There was no good answer to that question.

_We just haven't talked in a while._

Michelle sent a shrug gif and he laughed.

_I'm not going to lie, Parker, you're still lame. I've ascended from your level._

_Oh?_

_I've outgrown your buffoonery_

_"Buffoonery." Okay, Harvard, you're on. Maybe I've matured too much for your pessimism._

_Maybe I got tired of your dad jokes_

_Maybe I got sick of your sarcasm._

_You also have too many more feelings than a human should be capable of._

_At least I have feelings._

_O U C H_

Peter laughed so loudly Gwen walked in from the other room.

"Peter, if you miss your friends so much, you should visit them."

"I do," Peter defended, a little embarrassed that she heard him.

"I don't think you've had any visitors besides me."

"Not this year."

"And last year?"

He pressed his lips together.

"I thought so." She shook her head. "No one is an island, Peter."

"I can't be an island if I have a girlfriend," he called after her as she walked away. He heard her scoff.

Looking back to the text messages, Peter was excited just to get back to Michelle. He could live knowing this was all a big mistake.

* * *

 

**Past - 2021 - 16 years old**

Peter needed to get better at understanding Michelle’s sarcasm. The first time they talked about the kiss, Peter was so bashfully in-between apologies and confessions that he’d been caught off-guard by Michelle’s jokes.

_At least take me to dinner first._

Michelle was not literally asking him to take her to dinner. No sane teenager would ask someone to make their first date a formal dinner. Peter, however, didn’t catch that hint and offered to take her to a nice Italian restaurant he’d heard Aunt May rave about.

At the time, he couldn’t tell what Michelle’s hesitance was, but he was too busy being grateful to ask. It wasn’t until May pointed out that it was out of the norm that he ever fully realized what he’d done wrong.

Formal dinners were awkward. And knowing Michelle, she probably really hated them. Michelle wasn’t the kind to enjoy dressing up. It was a battle for anyone in the academic decathlon team to convince her to go to any of the dances for that reason alone. Peter himself also didn’t feel at home in a stiff, confining button up.

Going to dinner was the dumbest idea Peter had ever had, he decided, right up until he reached Michelle’s door and saw her.

Whatever happened, however disastrous the date went, Peter could not regret the way she stole his breath when he first saw her. She had her hair in its usual bun, a little neater and pulled back high. She had on a bright blue dress and heels. She’d put an effort into this that made him do his best to hold back a grin.

“Don’t get any ideas. My mom made me wear this,” Michelle defended.

Peter wanted to believe her, to keep from getting his hopes up, but she didn’t look nearly as angry as she would have been if that were true.

“Mhmm,” he hummed, happily offering his arm only for her to brush him off.

Arriving at the restaurant, Peter stared into the windows as if he was facing battle. There were so many people there decades older than the both of them, or families with kids who looked so happy that it made Peter uncomfortable. Straightening his shirt, Peter prepared himself for the act of a lifetime when —

“This blows. Want to go get ice cream?” Michelle asked flatly, pointing at the shop across the street. Peter let out a strained laugh as he nodded. Soon they found themselves sitting on the bench outside the shop creating stories for all of the individuals that stepped out of the restaurant. Where Peter’s stories were funny or sweet, Michelle’s were morbid enough to make him laugh.

“She thinks this is a date, he thinks he’s meeting a friend for drinks,” she said, pointing out two people hugging just outside the door.

“No, they’re dating. Maybe their fifth date.”

“She’s dressed to eat him alive. He’s wearing sweatpants. First date; he thinks it’s friendly.”

“You never know! They are nice sweatpants,” Peter argued weakly, wanting to stick to his point. Michelle just gave him a look. “Shut up.” She went into a fit of giggles as he blushed and dug further into his ice cream.

Smiling into her cup, Michelle was silent for a moment until she seemed to think of an idea.

“What’s your week look like?”

Peter sighed. “Busy,” he said, tracing his fingers along the line of the bench.

“I’ll bet. Especially with town hall coming up.” Peter grinned, pleased to be talking about this again. He’d almost forgotten.

“I still can’t believe you’re going,” he mused.

“I’m not,” she answered as though she had more to say.

“I thought you said you had to cancel because you were going,” Peter mentioned, deflating.

“I just figured someone would have to cancel, since you’ll be busy getting that award.” She smiled. Peter didn’t even catch the joke until he spoke up.

“I can be back on — ” He froze, the color rushing out of his face. Michelle just sat their pleased with herself, scraping at the walls of her already-finished cup. His stomach was uneasy. “H-How did you know?”

“I always knew,” she whispered, a pleasant smile on her face. She was relieved to tell him, honestly. It was one less secret between the two of them, and she felt like Peter had many.

* * *

**Past - 2026 - 21 years old**

Peter couldn't remember what it was like when his chest didn't feel caved in.

Near death experiences were never enough to shake him but he couldn't remember a time where he'd lost hope like this before now except when he thought back to losing Uncle Ben and his parents.

He was living with May two weeks now and he still didn't know how to make her understand what he was feeling. He just hugged her every day, trying to find new ways to protect her with everything he had.

One day, she would get tired of not having the answers. For now, Peter supposed she was too scared to ask why he wasn't making up lost time at school this summer.

Gwen called every day but Peter begged her for some time alone. The world was crashing down around him and he didn't need her to see that he was scared too. He knew their relationship would suffer. After New York was attacked, he understood how badly Gwen needed his company but he couldn't imagine how she'd ever let him go on grieving without asking too many questions.

Ned walked away at the end of the spring. Though he was calling every day now and asking Peter if he needed help, Peter was too afraid to drag him back into this life.

Not after losing Tony.

Peter only had so much left to give.

The world was safe, the threat was gone, the mission was over. Yet, whatever old thread of optimism he once clung onto was missing. That sense of safety that came with peace was inaccessible to him, snipped out of his mind and replaced with a repeating vision of Tony gasping for air and choking on his blood.

For a moment, it was like Peter could feel the man's pain for him. An intense burning sensation washed over Peter's nerves whenever he thought about it. Tony filled a promise he made to Peter when he first agreed to help the team: with Peter's hesitance at the time was about worrying Aunt May, Tony promised to do everything in his power to keep Peter safe.

He supposed he never really thought about just how much Tony meant it.

A few days ago, he felt the first spark of hope from a text message. As guilty as it made him feel, it wasn't Gwen's. When Peter hit the second week's anniversary of when he started getting panic attacks before bed, he finally decided to answer.

_I need a friend._

He was answered with silence, a blankness that last two days. He reread the conversation over each day, hoping for so much as a "read" to pop up so at least something would change on his screen. He just wanted to talk. That's all.

Peter didn't hold expectations when their doorbell rang.

Even with his reflexes, he didn't anticipate the action. The door swung open violently as she wrapped her arms around him tightly. The warmth and comfort was so familiar he curled into it immediately.

"You're alive," she said finally, her arms still over his shoulders. She was inches from his face and he had no plans to change it.

"You have no idea how good it is to see you, MJ," he said, squeezing her tight against him.

"Peter, I'm so sorry. I can't even imagine." He shut his eyes tightly, just clinging to the comfort how he could. He didn't understand yet how she could still be the answer to everything, but he strung his heart up for the moment just long enough to tell her everything.

It felt like this comfort would leave with her. Peter was determined to make it stick.

* * *

**Past - 2021 - 17 years old**

Peter wished he could tell the world about this feeling.

When he kissed Michelle the first time a few months ago, Peter thought he would lose a friend. Instead, he got the girl of his dreams. Cliches aside, he couldn't stop thinking in words that made any sensible decisions so long as she was around.

The time passed in such a rush he wasn't sure what came first. He couldn't tell anyone the exact moment she stole his heart, not when he wondered each day just how long she had it.

Then there were days like these to further confuse him. As Michelle leaned into his shoulder, fast asleep, he couldn't help but look at her for just a moment. It was strange to see her without a slight smirk or narrowed eyes gracing her expression. Those were her defaults, after all.

In a strange way, she almost looked a little peaceful. He was pretty sure she'd dream about conquering entire countries or beating down various political imbeciles, but on the outside she simply looked happy.

Peter could only hope to be a part of the reason why. He spent all of his time with her just trying to be some part of the good in her life.

They'd studied well into the morning hours. Her parents wouldn't wonder where she was, as she told them she'd be with Cindy. If anyone championed them more than Ned, it was her. Despite her harsh, criticizing nature, Peter could tell Michelle held a spot in Cindy's life as her best friend. She grew on everyone from then on.

Cindy warned him they were getting very close very fast. At least, the words made Peter worry, though Cindy seemed to see it as more of a positive. The idea struck Peter that one day something could happen to Michelle. If he was ever helpless to stop it, then he wasn’t sure he’d ever be able to live with that.

Then it entered his mind that simply by being with Michelle, he’s putting her in constant danger.

Bringing that up was a mistake. Michelle yelled at him for even thinking such a thing. Peter was near tears at some point. Truth be told, the fight was a blur. All he remembered was the end, Michelle kissing him and comforting him, holding him as the world seemed to crash around him, as he realized being a hero meant everyone he loved was at risk. She comforted him until he couldn’t wallow anymore. Then he held her like she was all he had to protect.

As emotional as the day had been, this rest was comforting. He didn’t even sleep out of fear that he’d be missing the passing minutes of silence. He let Michelle have her rest, though.

As time passed, he finally felt lulled to sleep by the sounds of the busy street coming in through his window. He kissed Michelle’s head and murmured words to her he didn’t mean to say.

  
“I love you.” He tucked her head under his chin and relaxed, never seeing her eyes blink away sleep as she tried to hold in her answer. Forever, this would be the moment she remembered feeling safe in the knowledge that Peter loved her as much as she loved him.

A few months later, when he finally said the words to her again, Michelle would feign surprise because she loved him too much to spoil that moment. What mattered was she knew the truth. They were on the same level from the start.

* * *

**Present - 2037 - 32 years old**

Michelle was stuffing clothes into a duffel bag when Harry interrupted.

"I thought you had already packed," he said, his voice still groggy as he made his way to the bed.

"I keep changing my mind. Maybe I shouldn't go."

"You were so excited when you got the invitation. And you're always so happy when you come back."

She swallowed back that guilt before it could wash over her. "Maybe just not this year. There's so much going on."

"Next year you're running a campaign. You can't just run off to the woods with your friends in the middle of that."

"It's Connecticut, that is hardly 'the woods'."

"Everyone will be fine. It's just a few days."

Michelle wished anyone but Harry was comforting her. Nodding just to get out of the conversation, she finished packing and shut off the lights so that he could sleep. She could barely shut her eyes with him right next to her. It was a matter of a few hours before she'd see Peter and repeat the same childish errors.

A small voice in her head reminded her she had every power to stop making excuses and cut this drama out of her life.

Never one to back down from a challenge, Michelle lived off the energy that idea gave her. She was in control of her actions. If she expected to be a leader, she needed to be better than this.

* * *

**Present - 2037 - 32 years old**

Picking Mary up into her arms, Michelle cradled the small child close to her chest as she tried not to feel misery. It was rare that her daughter caused her any grief but when Michelle feared her inevitable mistakes, Mary was her biggest trigger.

It was her she'd be hurting the most if she ever got caught. Harry would be heartbroken, but Michelle would be destroying her baby's family if the connections ever went public.

It was times like these Michelle reminded herself she was being weak. Feeling hopeless, she gently shook her child from her sleep as they arrived in her room. Mary refused to wake, so Michelle gently tugged the belt of the costume and the armbands off of Mary. There would be no chance of getting her into pajamas but at least now she would sleep comfortably.

Tucking her daughter in, Michelle gently swept the curly bangs out of her face. Looking at Mary now, it was hard to believe Michelle could hardly see the resemblance. Mary had her face and her hair. Perhaps she had some of her attitude too. With her eyes closed, Michelle could see her daughter in Mary's tiny form. She could see why people believed the lie for so long.

See, so long as you weren't staring in her eyes, you wouldn't see a single trace of the boy who believed he could save the world by putting on a mask and calling himself a hero.

Leaving a kiss on Mary's forehead, Michelle pushed out thoughts that she'd determined the family's downfall from the start. The day she is exposed will be the day she loses all three of them.

Michelle made her daughter a symbol of that risk and she'd never forgive herself for it.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to my beta [@duhmj](http://duhmj.tumblr.com) on tumblr.


End file.
